Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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