Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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