I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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