were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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