You're my little dorito
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
