My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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