He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The air was thick with penises
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
