You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
