Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
