Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
