So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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