we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
