My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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