I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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