butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
