I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize