Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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