Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
