oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
