just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
