So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
