You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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