i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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