You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
