I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
