You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize