Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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