Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
