You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
