I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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