So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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