We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
