so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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