just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
