He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
