His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize