I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it glows. i had to have it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
