Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
