Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
