I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
