I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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