Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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