i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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