K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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