I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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