doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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