I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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