In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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