I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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