my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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