I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
