The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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