Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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