Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
