I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
