honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
