Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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