Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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