im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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